My parents' Choice? My Choice? (Part 2)

… ’Will you marry me Enitan?’I was dazed.

I remembered how Yemi and I rehearsed for our proposal day, how he will go on his knees, and I will scream and jump on him. I asked myself ‘Do I really want to get married to a guy I barely know? Am I ready for commitment with Ali? Am I ready to marry a guy that is not Yemi?’ If I should say yes it would mean that Yemi and I would never ever be together. I looked to my left, I saw my father smiling. It had been ages since I saw my father smile at me. I decided to say yes because my father was happy with Ali. Deep in my heart I was weeping, all these years I had waited for Yemi’s proposal, but I got Alis’. Don’t get me wrong, Ali is a nice guy. He is cool, he is calm and he has a great sense of humor. The only problem I had was, I didn’t know him well enough, and I was not ready to come to terms with the fact that I will be spending the rest of my life with a guy other than Yemi.

When I said YES, my father jumped with so much joy. He hugged Ali and I, you need to have seen him, he was so happy, there was excitement written all over his face.  He started making some phone calls; it was obvious he has started planning the wedding. My mum took me to my room; she could see the pain in my eyes. She asked me ‘Do you want do to this? Are you ready for this journey?’ It then dawned on me that I was truly going on a journey, a journey of no return. There was no point changing my mind, I didn’t want to turn my father’s happiness to sadness.

Ali and I got married in a grand way, when I say grand I mean GRAND. As the only girl, my father made sure the wedding was the talk of town. It was a big wedding I must say. Yemi sent me a gift, I smiled when I saw his note saying ’Happy Married Life Caramel’ Yemi calls me caramel because I call him honey, a nickname we gave ourselves. I replied saying thank you honey. I miss him.

Ali and I went for our honeymoon in Dubai; we didn’t look like newlyweds because we were not acting like one. We only took pictures, we didn’t even make love. Well, we made love the day we were leaving Dubai, it was not all that compared to when Yemi and I make love. Our honeymoon ended well though.

Weeks after our honeymoon, Ali and I started behaving like strangers. We don’t really talk; we didn’t make love since our honeymoon. Anytime I trying caressing Ali, he shoves my hand and says he wants to rest or he is tired. I thought to myself he could be tired, at least we are going to spend the rest of our lives together, so why the rush.

I forgot a case file I needed for a meeting at home, so I had to rush back home. On getting home, the doors were locked. I opened the doors took my file and as I was heading out, I remembered I didn’t turn off the Air conditioner. I opened the room door; to my surprise who did I see.  Ali was having sex with another man on our matrimonial bed. Ali was GAY!

I woke up in the hospital, my parents and Ali were by my side. The nurse came to inform me I was pregnant. My parents were so happy; they were praying and doing all sorts. I told my parents to please excuse Ali and I. Ali was begging me, he was crying. He told me he was gay, he married me because he didn’t want people to ask questions. I started fixing the patches from the day I met Ali, the signs were glaring. I remembered the day we made love on our honeymoon; Ali wanted to make love through the anus. We argued about it, but later made love through the vagina. No wonder it sucked. The puzzle had been fixed, Ali was gay. All I felt that moment was hatred for Ali, I was Pro-Gay but I couldn’t stand Ali. I use to fight for homosexuals, but never imagined I will be married to one. I didn’t know how to break the sad and shocking news to my parents. Well, they made this choice for me, so they must find a solution for me.

I called in my parents, told them how grateful I was for them ruining my life, and how horrible the choice they made for me was. I thought to myself I am an adult I could have made my own choice, but why did I follow my parents choice. I was blinded with the love I had for my parents, I didn’t want them to hate me. I wanted them to love me like they always did. Now I hate my parents, I didn’t even want to see them. My mum was crying, she couldn’t find the right word to say. She was blaming my father for his egocentric religious beliefs.

I went back to my parents’ house, I couldn’t tell my friends, family the reason why I left Ali. Ali should do the explanation himself, I am not ready for people to feel pity for me whatsoever. I decided to keep the baby; I cannot hurt a little innocent soul. I am currently filling for divorce; I was married for only 3 month. I never imagined my marriage could be this brief, my idea of marriage was for a lifetime.

I found out Yemi is still single, but how will I face him or his family. I know deeply well Yemi still loves me, but I don’t think I will ever forgive myself for how badly my parents and I behaved to him. If I could I reverse the hands of time, I would have disobeyed my parents marry Yemi and be happily married. They say experience is the best teacher, life taught me the hard way. One thing I learnt from my experience is ‘Follow your heart’. Forget traditions, culture, and parents’ choices; make your own choice. Because the life you would be saving is yours!

My parents' Choice?My Choice? (Part 1)

My Parent’s choice? My choice?
Choices? What do people know about choices? People may think real life choices are like the multiple choice questions where all the answer are right, but only one is the best answer for the question. Real life choices are harder and tough to make.

I come from a country where our parents are like Gods, a mini-god to be precise. Before we make any choice or decision in our life's we consult our parents, their say will be paramount regardless of what we feel or want.

I met Ali when I went for a party with my mum, he was so cute, clean and cool. I was pinging my friend when I felt a tap on my shoulder ‘hey, can I join you?’ It was Ali; I was excited that the guy I was scoping walked up to me. I was not really in the mood of talking, but I wanted to get to know him. He had a great sense of humor. He made me laugh all through the party; even my mother was wondering what was wrong with me. We later exchanged numbers and pins.

Did I tell you I had a boyfriend? Well, I have a boyfriend. His name is Yemi. Yemi and I have been dating for 6(six) years now. Yes 6 years. We love ourselves so much and we also cannot live without each other. Yemi is my ideal man; in short he is my life.

‘Hey beauty’ a message from Ali. I was shocked because it was 3 months since I saw him at the party. I replied asking how he has been doing. We chatted for hours. My mum came to my room to tell me she and my dad wanted to talk to me. I had to pause my chat with Ali. When I got to the living room, my dad was looking so serious. I was scared maybe I had done something wrong.

‘My baby’ my dad said at first. My dad calls me his baby; I am the only girl with 4(four) brothers. I am my father’s pet. ‘Who is your boyfriend?’ he asked. I was shy because my father has never asked me such question before. I replied saying ‘Yemi’.
He continued ‘I have a problem with Yemi.’ At first I was surprised, my dad knows Yemi so well. How come he has a problem with him now?
‘What is the problem daddy?’
‘Yemi is not of the same faith with us.’
‘And so, who cares?’ I said.
‘We care. Over my dead body will you marry someone from another religion.’ He said with so much anger. I have never seen my father this furious. I was wondering maybe the way I spoke was rude or maybe Yemi annoyed him.
‘Daddy, I am so sorry if I got you angry, but you have to explain to me what the problem is. Yemi and I have been dating for 6(six) years and we will be 7(seven) years in 2(two) months ti…’ my father cuts me short.

‘Shut that foolish mouth of yours. You even have the audacity to tell me that you will be 7 years soon. You cannot marry him; I do not want to know the amount of years you have been dating. All I know is that you cannot marry him. Period!’ He said and walked out of the living room. I was astounded. Tears rolling down my chubby cheeks. It was like I never knew my father. My mum pets me and hurriedly followed my father. I felt my world crumbling in front of me. All I could see was my 6 years with Yemi going down the drain. Yemi is my life, he is my soul mate. I cannot imagine my life without him.

I saw missed calls from Yemi, he had been calling me. I didn’t know whether to call him back or to ignore. I didn’t want to behave nasty to him because he would know something is wrong with me. I sent him a message saying I was not feeling too well. Before I knew it Yemi was at my house. I heard the customized honk he does whenever he arrives. As he entered the living room, he met my dad. He prostrated as a guy will do when he wants to greet someone older than him. My dad didn’t respond. He later turned to Yemi and said ‘Yemi please do me a favor. Leave Enitan alone. She cannot marry you. I will never give my daughter to you.’ Yemi couldn’t say a word. In between sobs I told Yemi to please go home. I could see the pain on Yemi’s face as he walked out of the door and my life.

As seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months goes by my heart yearned for Yemi. My world had always revolved around Yemi that I couldn’t imagine spending it without him. My father started ignoring me; whenever I try talking to him he pays no attention to me. I became so scared of my father; he was like a stranger that I was just getting to know. I didn’t know what to do to make him talk or even look at me. I went to meet my mum to please talk to my father, she said she has tried that I have to do what my father wants. I told her how sad dad’s decision is making me feel. She said ‘Parents are mini-gods for a reason. Respect your fathers’ decision.’ I thought to myself, do I make my choice or follow my parents’ choice even though I know their choice hurts me badly? I love my parents so much; I do not want to hurt their feelings. I will rather get hurt than make them hate me.

I decided to follow my parents’ choice, I totally ignored Yemi. I stopped picking his calls, stopped replying his messages and even stopped all communication with him and his family. Yemi's parents, siblings, friends and family were always calling to apologize, but I didn’t change my decision.

I got a message from Ali while I was at work saying he wanted to see me that it was urgent. I was surprised what could be so urgent that he could not say on the phone. I got home and I met Ali in my living room. I was speechless, but later asked 'what are you doing here?’. He said he couldn’t wait that he had to come over to my house. My dad was in the living room, he looked happy. He was even smiling at me. Before I could say jack, Ali was on his knees ‘Will you marry me Enitan?’…