My Parent’s choice? My choice?
Choices? What do people know about choices? People may think real life choices are like the multiple choice questions where all the answer are right, but only one is the best answer for the question. Real life choices are harder and tough to make.
I come from a country where our parents are like Gods, a mini-god to be precise. Before we make any choice or decision in our life's we consult our parents, their say will be paramount regardless of what we feel or want.
I met Ali when I went for a party with my mum, he was so cute, clean and cool. I was pinging my friend when I felt a tap on my shoulder ‘hey, can I join you?’ It was Ali; I was excited that the guy I was scoping walked up to me. I was not really in the mood of talking, but I wanted to get to know him. He had a great sense of humor. He made me laugh all through the party; even my mother was wondering what was wrong with me. We later exchanged numbers and pins.
Did I tell you I had a boyfriend? Well, I have a boyfriend. His name is Yemi. Yemi and I have been dating for 6(six) years now. Yes 6 years. We love ourselves so much and we also cannot live without each other. Yemi is my ideal man; in short he is my life.
‘Hey beauty’ a message from Ali. I was shocked because it was 3 months since I saw him at the party. I replied asking how he has been doing. We chatted for hours. My mum came to my room to tell me she and my dad wanted to talk to me. I had to pause my chat with Ali. When I got to the living room, my dad was looking so serious. I was scared maybe I had done something wrong.
‘My baby’ my dad said at first. My dad calls me his baby; I am the only girl with 4(four) brothers. I am my father’s pet. ‘Who is your boyfriend?’ he asked. I was shy because my father has never asked me such question before. I replied saying ‘Yemi’.
He continued ‘I have a problem with Yemi.’ At first I was surprised, my dad knows Yemi so well. How come he has a problem with him now?
‘What is the problem daddy?’
‘Yemi is not of the same faith with us.’
‘And so, who cares?’ I said.
‘We care. Over my dead body will you marry someone from another religion.’ He said with so much anger. I have never seen my father this furious. I was wondering maybe the way I spoke was rude or maybe Yemi annoyed him.
‘Daddy, I am so sorry if I got you angry, but you have to explain to me what the problem is. Yemi and I have been dating for 6(six) years and we will be 7(seven) years in 2(two) months ti…’ my father cuts me short.
‘Shut that foolish mouth of yours. You even have the audacity to tell me that you will be 7 years soon. You cannot marry him; I do not want to know the amount of years you have been dating. All I know is that you cannot marry him. Period!’ He said and walked out of the living room. I was astounded. Tears rolling down my chubby cheeks. It was like I never knew my father. My mum pets me and hurriedly followed my father. I felt my world crumbling in front of me. All I could see was my 6 years with Yemi going down the drain. Yemi is my life, he is my soul mate. I cannot imagine my life without him.
I saw missed calls from Yemi, he had been calling me. I didn’t know whether to call him back or to ignore. I didn’t want to behave nasty to him because he would know something is wrong with me. I sent him a message saying I was not feeling too well. Before I knew it Yemi was at my house. I heard the customized honk he does whenever he arrives. As he entered the living room, he met my dad. He prostrated as a guy will do when he wants to greet someone older than him. My dad didn’t respond. He later turned to Yemi and said ‘Yemi please do me a favor. Leave Enitan alone. She cannot marry you. I will never give my daughter to you.’ Yemi couldn’t say a word. In between sobs I told Yemi to please go home. I could see the pain on Yemi’s face as he walked out of the door and my life.
As seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months goes by my heart yearned for Yemi. My world had always revolved around Yemi that I couldn’t imagine spending it without him. My father started ignoring me; whenever I try talking to him he pays no attention to me. I became so scared of my father; he was like a stranger that I was just getting to know. I didn’t know what to do to make him talk or even look at me. I went to meet my mum to please talk to my father, she said she has tried that I have to do what my father wants. I told her how sad dad’s decision is making me feel. She said ‘Parents are mini-gods for a reason. Respect your fathers’ decision.’ I thought to myself, do I make my choice or follow my parents’ choice even though I know their choice hurts me badly? I love my parents so much; I do not want to hurt their feelings. I will rather get hurt than make them hate me.
I decided to follow my parents’ choice, I totally ignored Yemi. I stopped picking his calls, stopped replying his messages and even stopped all communication with him and his family. Yemi's parents, siblings, friends and family were always calling to apologize, but I didn’t change my decision.
I got a message from Ali while I was at work saying he wanted to see me that it was urgent. I was surprised what could be so urgent that he could not say on the phone. I got home and I met Ali in my living room. I was speechless, but later asked 'what are you doing here?’. He said he couldn’t wait that he had to come over to my house. My dad was in the living room, he looked happy. He was even smiling at me. Before I could say jack, Ali was on his knees ‘Will you marry me Enitan?’…
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